http://www.soulmanifesto.net/audio/Mr. Fingers (Larry Heard) - Can U Feel It (Robert Owens Voca.mp3
I love this song the best in all the songs that I adore.
Just the best.
Because the sound and lyrics just reflect the person ME.
The energy in this music is something I feel INSIDE of ME when I do something very passionate, feeling high running, dancing or making love to someone you dearly love.
Just drives you crazy inside, you know? Like crazy energy explodes inside you!!!
HOT SHITEEEEEEE
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Cordell Johnson
Please listen to Cordell Johnson, an amazing DJ from Chicago: http://dhpmixes.com/mixes/0905cordell.mp3
This mix made me want to move to Chicago once again.
Music like his keeps me inspired. and maybe that is what I need to stay true to whom I want to be.
I love the intensity of his mix sooo much.
Listening to his mix helps me let go of my negative emotions, dance my ass off expressing my feelings I gain from music and feel super great afterwords (I love feeling the moment where I am manifesting my true self thru my actions).
Seeing other people doing their things professionally, I really gotta do something about my LIFE too!
Mad respect goes to CORDELL JOHNSON.
I sooo wish to one day dance to your music set LIVE.
I know I will in near future. :)
and I am excited for such future :) :) :)
This mix made me want to move to Chicago once again.
Music like his keeps me inspired. and maybe that is what I need to stay true to whom I want to be.
I love the intensity of his mix sooo much.
Listening to his mix helps me let go of my negative emotions, dance my ass off expressing my feelings I gain from music and feel super great afterwords (I love feeling the moment where I am manifesting my true self thru my actions).
Seeing other people doing their things professionally, I really gotta do something about my LIFE too!
Mad respect goes to CORDELL JOHNSON.
I sooo wish to one day dance to your music set LIVE.
I know I will in near future. :)
and I am excited for such future :) :) :)
LIFE
I have had such a drama-week.
Where to begin? I do not know.
But it is very important for me to let my thoughts out of my mind to better understand myself, so I am typing having my lap top on my lap as I lean over the wall by my bed.
[WORK]
I continue to cover long hour labour, working 10-12 hours/day and 60 hrs and more/week.
I get a half day off and it is rare for me to get a full day off without doing any activity related to work right now.
Managerial role means more responsibility, but do I enjoy taking care of work inquiries via my mobile even during your time off?? Well, you know my answer: not really. LOL
I tend to spend my off physically recovering.
Taking care of my personal errands. Grocery shopping and buying things that I need to take good care of myself.
I barely have time to do inspirational things anymore.
But I try to engage in activities that I enjoy even during such busy schedule to bring me a sense of joy and happiness that I know I deserve. Change in my given life style is also healthy too, you know?
I find my current job situation quite challenging, because things are very very disorganized.
At first I found it very interesting how things were getting organized with my hard work, but I am physically and mentally getting burnt out that I am losing flexibility to accept the sudden challenge in the most positive manner. I get frustrated and gain negative emotions like anger sometime, and I do not like it, because I do not define negative emotions as something to identify my character.
I am trying to create a good structure and systems installed in this organization.
But the person I work closely with continues to sort of create problems, sort of destroying the established systems. I guess I can say that it is a test-run period right now to see how the systems that I have established work well with others, but the bottom line is that as long as he does not change the way he handles the incoming work inquiries, I know, I will be expected to work such crazy hours due to an unproductive way of coordinating things.
The other day, I slipped on the floor (slippery and wet floor) on my way to deliver a beautifully arranged sushi tray to a client.
I hit my elbow and my head badly. For a moment, I zoned out and did not know what had just happened because of the shock.
People came up to me to help me stand up and realized what just happened.
People asked me to help me get to the area where I could receive medical treatment right away. But as I saw the smashed sushi on the tray, and myself knowing I got injured, I got so angry.
Although people were worried about my physical condition, I was more curious to talk to the person who was in charge of the floor cleanliness maintenance.
"who is responsible for maintaining this floor?"
"let me talk to the person right now".
I must have scared off some people because of my intensity asking for someone in authority when I had to worry about my physical health too.
I was taken to the customer service area where I reported the accident and received some medical treatment right away.
As soon as I shared my concern (what if this happened to some fans or my staff??), I felt so sad and had some tears fall off my cheeks. Finally I came to worry about my physical health and settled down emotionally.
Now that I think of this incidence, I wonder if this has something to do with my previous life threatening experience where I got physically damaged. Because otherwise, how would you explain my instant anger towards such a thing happening to me?
Since experiencing the accident, I have been feeling quite down. Kind of depressed.
It seems as though my past experience shaped me not to tolerate any physical harm that one does not deserve.
But I now know that I can not blame someone for some accident happening like this. It was not intentional afterall.
Anyway, now, my neck is hurting and my elbow is a little swollen and bruised.
But the positive aspect of this accident is that I had my pony tail on my upper part of my head, cause it helped me not hit my head too bad, you know???
I still have the healthy brain to write out what happened. so I feel I am lucky....
[LIFE]
I continue to ask what I want to do in my life.
I wonder if I could turn my personal interests into a career.
I day dream of having a serious dance lessons to better express myself.
But as long as I continue to work such crazy long hour work, I do not get to have time to do things that I am interested in neither.
So then, what is it that I want in my life?????
I want to feel that I belong to things that I feel passionate about.
I want to express my SELF to friends and family that I care.
I want to have the time to work out daily, time to welcome guests for tasty meals.
I want to have the time to engage in the deephousemusic scene more. I am super interested in the housedancing scene.
I want to feel I belong to the things that I feel passionate about.
So what do I want?
TIME AND ABILITY TO APPLY MY CREATIVITY.
Although I must look aftermyself financially having a decent paying job, I need to find solutions for my current job situation so that I will get to have the TIME and ABILITY to APPLY MY CREATIVITY MORE.
Gotta take some actions NOW.
Off to do my thing shaking my bootie on the dance floor. See you later LOVE :)
Kumi
Where to begin? I do not know.
But it is very important for me to let my thoughts out of my mind to better understand myself, so I am typing having my lap top on my lap as I lean over the wall by my bed.
[WORK]
I continue to cover long hour labour, working 10-12 hours/day and 60 hrs and more/week.
I get a half day off and it is rare for me to get a full day off without doing any activity related to work right now.
Managerial role means more responsibility, but do I enjoy taking care of work inquiries via my mobile even during your time off?? Well, you know my answer: not really. LOL
I tend to spend my off physically recovering.
Taking care of my personal errands. Grocery shopping and buying things that I need to take good care of myself.
I barely have time to do inspirational things anymore.
But I try to engage in activities that I enjoy even during such busy schedule to bring me a sense of joy and happiness that I know I deserve. Change in my given life style is also healthy too, you know?
I find my current job situation quite challenging, because things are very very disorganized.
At first I found it very interesting how things were getting organized with my hard work, but I am physically and mentally getting burnt out that I am losing flexibility to accept the sudden challenge in the most positive manner. I get frustrated and gain negative emotions like anger sometime, and I do not like it, because I do not define negative emotions as something to identify my character.
I am trying to create a good structure and systems installed in this organization.
But the person I work closely with continues to sort of create problems, sort of destroying the established systems. I guess I can say that it is a test-run period right now to see how the systems that I have established work well with others, but the bottom line is that as long as he does not change the way he handles the incoming work inquiries, I know, I will be expected to work such crazy hours due to an unproductive way of coordinating things.
The other day, I slipped on the floor (slippery and wet floor) on my way to deliver a beautifully arranged sushi tray to a client.
I hit my elbow and my head badly. For a moment, I zoned out and did not know what had just happened because of the shock.
People came up to me to help me stand up and realized what just happened.
People asked me to help me get to the area where I could receive medical treatment right away. But as I saw the smashed sushi on the tray, and myself knowing I got injured, I got so angry.
Although people were worried about my physical condition, I was more curious to talk to the person who was in charge of the floor cleanliness maintenance.
"who is responsible for maintaining this floor?"
"let me talk to the person right now".
I must have scared off some people because of my intensity asking for someone in authority when I had to worry about my physical health too.
I was taken to the customer service area where I reported the accident and received some medical treatment right away.
As soon as I shared my concern (what if this happened to some fans or my staff??), I felt so sad and had some tears fall off my cheeks. Finally I came to worry about my physical health and settled down emotionally.
Now that I think of this incidence, I wonder if this has something to do with my previous life threatening experience where I got physically damaged. Because otherwise, how would you explain my instant anger towards such a thing happening to me?
Since experiencing the accident, I have been feeling quite down. Kind of depressed.
It seems as though my past experience shaped me not to tolerate any physical harm that one does not deserve.
But I now know that I can not blame someone for some accident happening like this. It was not intentional afterall.
Anyway, now, my neck is hurting and my elbow is a little swollen and bruised.
But the positive aspect of this accident is that I had my pony tail on my upper part of my head, cause it helped me not hit my head too bad, you know???
I still have the healthy brain to write out what happened. so I feel I am lucky....
[LIFE]
I continue to ask what I want to do in my life.
I wonder if I could turn my personal interests into a career.
I day dream of having a serious dance lessons to better express myself.
But as long as I continue to work such crazy long hour work, I do not get to have time to do things that I am interested in neither.
So then, what is it that I want in my life?????
I want to feel that I belong to things that I feel passionate about.
I want to express my SELF to friends and family that I care.
I want to have the time to work out daily, time to welcome guests for tasty meals.
I want to have the time to engage in the deephousemusic scene more. I am super interested in the housedancing scene.
I want to feel I belong to the things that I feel passionate about.
So what do I want?
TIME AND ABILITY TO APPLY MY CREATIVITY.
Although I must look aftermyself financially having a decent paying job, I need to find solutions for my current job situation so that I will get to have the TIME and ABILITY to APPLY MY CREATIVITY MORE.
Gotta take some actions NOW.
Off to do my thing shaking my bootie on the dance floor. See you later LOVE :)
Kumi
Saturday, October 08, 2005
When people reveals their true motives and personality...
and they turned out to be superficial and materialistic,
It sucks, and I lose my modest personality and become less cooperative and understanding, because I do not agree with such human behavour and it makes me feel angry when I noticed myself being taken advantage of (rant rant ran rant swearing rant)!!!
You know, I can keep my patience and ability to accept other people for who they are, but if they intentionally take advantage of others, my feminist part of me kicks in: middle finger YOU!! LOL
I came home at 2am yesterday.
I was going to leave the office by 12am, so that I would still have the time to party up and do my thing shaking my bootie on the dance floor showering myself with great deephouse tunes and what not.
Well, I did not, why?
Cause someone does not better use their time productively that I ended up wasting my time to do a simple work that can be done in a couple minutes only if a clear instruction was given at first.
Yes, you must have felt it. I am loaded with negative emotions right now, so you better not irritate me, cause I will burn you with my anger right now.
......
Sigh.
You know, I fucking need to go to the gym to get rid of my negative emotions, but after 4 hours of sleep and still having some work to do before heading down to a venue for an event this early afternoon, I have no idea how I will deal with this situation in a long term, cause I am turning into a bitter person.......
HELP needed. Tonite, I will go and dance, no sleep and go to work for a meeting and come home and take care of my personal needs. that will make me at least a bit happier...
*determined* Kumi
It sucks, and I lose my modest personality and become less cooperative and understanding, because I do not agree with such human behavour and it makes me feel angry when I noticed myself being taken advantage of (rant rant ran rant swearing rant)!!!
You know, I can keep my patience and ability to accept other people for who they are, but if they intentionally take advantage of others, my feminist part of me kicks in: middle finger YOU!! LOL
I came home at 2am yesterday.
I was going to leave the office by 12am, so that I would still have the time to party up and do my thing shaking my bootie on the dance floor showering myself with great deephouse tunes and what not.
Well, I did not, why?
Cause someone does not better use their time productively that I ended up wasting my time to do a simple work that can be done in a couple minutes only if a clear instruction was given at first.
Yes, you must have felt it. I am loaded with negative emotions right now, so you better not irritate me, cause I will burn you with my anger right now.
......
Sigh.
You know, I fucking need to go to the gym to get rid of my negative emotions, but after 4 hours of sleep and still having some work to do before heading down to a venue for an event this early afternoon, I have no idea how I will deal with this situation in a long term, cause I am turning into a bitter person.......
HELP needed. Tonite, I will go and dance, no sleep and go to work for a meeting and come home and take care of my personal needs. that will make me at least a bit happier...
*determined* Kumi
Thursday, October 06, 2005
How do you pronounce "ISAC"
Today was a hell busy day, but we worked really well as a team, and I am very glad with the turn out, although we had three new staff in our team and I was too busy instructing key points while supervising overall production.
Here is a funny story of the nite.
There is a staff (Chinese oriented) whose name is ISAC.
Whenever I call him: "I-zac", he corrects me: "I-suck".
One of the Japanese staff asked me what his name was, so I told him how he always corrects me and wants me to call him: "I-suck", then I burst into a loud laugh, because, well you know. LOL
The supervisor who was at the center checking us out started laugh with me, while two Japanese female staff did not get the joke until I explained it to them.
LOL
Oh man oh man. I will have red cheeks whenever I call his name from now and on. LOL
dirty girl-you may think I am, well, I am a perv. LOL :D
Here is a funny story of the nite.
There is a staff (Chinese oriented) whose name is ISAC.
Whenever I call him: "I-zac", he corrects me: "I-suck".
One of the Japanese staff asked me what his name was, so I told him how he always corrects me and wants me to call him: "I-suck", then I burst into a loud laugh, because, well you know. LOL
The supervisor who was at the center checking us out started laugh with me, while two Japanese female staff did not get the joke until I explained it to them.
LOL
Oh man oh man. I will have red cheeks whenever I call his name from now and on. LOL
dirty girl-you may think I am, well, I am a perv. LOL :D
Monday, October 03, 2005
sunday!
Today, I woke up feeling rather fatigued.
Must be the stress/pressure that I dealt with working at our new kitchen at ACC (air canada center).
Yesterday, we were in a situation where we might end up losing the spot if we did not meet the standard by those executives of ACC, so my boss and I were somewhat tensed (nervous) making sure everything was taken care of smoothly, while there were endless of items to control and manage. The current situation is that all of us are NEW, so we work and learn new things once at a time. So far I am very blessed with good staff that have positive and flexible attitude and ability to provide me some good feedback and perspectives. But a couple staff that were hired recently by the company did rather create issues that I prefer not to even deal with (disappearing and not showing up at work and provided phone number going out of service), so it was quite stressful for me. sigh.
Wednesday is going to be a big nite for us. The start of the hockey season, so it will be mega busy!!! and I have a lot of work to take care of. I really *hope* that we can take care of staffing before then though..so people, please wish me good luck :) hehe
Hey, the other nite, the executive chef, Ryo-san prepared such amazing course menu for our valued customers. Please enjoy the presentation and beauty of his dishes as below:
I am truly blessed that I get to be inspired and stimulated seeing amazing creations as these though! Thanks very much, Ryo-san!
Must be the stress/pressure that I dealt with working at our new kitchen at ACC (air canada center).
Yesterday, we were in a situation where we might end up losing the spot if we did not meet the standard by those executives of ACC, so my boss and I were somewhat tensed (nervous) making sure everything was taken care of smoothly, while there were endless of items to control and manage. The current situation is that all of us are NEW, so we work and learn new things once at a time. So far I am very blessed with good staff that have positive and flexible attitude and ability to provide me some good feedback and perspectives. But a couple staff that were hired recently by the company did rather create issues that I prefer not to even deal with (disappearing and not showing up at work and provided phone number going out of service), so it was quite stressful for me. sigh.
Wednesday is going to be a big nite for us. The start of the hockey season, so it will be mega busy!!! and I have a lot of work to take care of. I really *hope* that we can take care of staffing before then though..so people, please wish me good luck :) hehe
Hey, the other nite, the executive chef, Ryo-san prepared such amazing course menu for our valued customers. Please enjoy the presentation and beauty of his dishes as below:
I am truly blessed that I get to be inspired and stimulated seeing amazing creations as these though! Thanks very much, Ryo-san!
Saturday, October 01, 2005
reflecting
The past few weeks were spent mostly taking care of my new career responsibility as an event/catering manager for a company that owns two separate Japanese restaurants.
Tonite, I was supposed to go out, but I came home disappointed as I was stuck at work until midnite and knowing that I would not be able to wake up early enough if I did make the decision to still go out and do *my thing* tonite....
Looking at my work schedule, I do not know when I would get to go and check out some sweet deephouse music next (or yet alone the opportunity to take a complete off for a day or two).
Although I love what I do for my work and I am blessed with the people that I work with, when I start looking into other needs that I have in my life, I find myself questioning: "what is it that I need in my life? What do I need to fulfill myself as a person????"
You know, my daily work out doing my cardio absolutely brings me a clear realization that I am given this life again. I often gain feelings such as "I am given another chance (a day) to live. How would I want live my day to fullfill it so that I will be happy eternally to go into the next world when my time comes??"
And usually, I have a wonderful day throughout the day and I forget how physically tired I maybe after having a long hour work, because everything that is given to me is ultimately a gift, and I must appreciate it fully (opportunity to work, opportunity to share my skills, ideas, creativities, initiatives etc).
But when I become alone, elements that are not fulfilled come into my mind wondering and questioning me when I will spend the energy to fulfill their needs. Maybe because I have covered such long hour work since I had my day off last time...
I miss spending time with my friends.
I miss having the time to go to kensington market and china town for my cooking.
I miss having hearty meal from in the morning.
I miss eating nice brunch with my roommate on the weekend.
I miss meeting up with my friends to chat and share whatever goes around in our minds and endlessly talk about some theories on energy/spirituality etc.
I miss.....feeling that I belong to the nature around me.
I think that I need to learn how to appreciate the given moment of time in each different picture slide that I live in. I could still appreciate my time riding on my bike from and to the gym as I pass through a road where you have humoungus trees on each side of the road, even it is for a short period of time.
I wished that I could make some arrangements with friends early in advance, so that I could manage to see them more frequently than letting a week go by without seeing any of them :(
But due to the nature of my work (a role in the management group), I must prioritize the emergent needs there, and it seems as though there is always a new business coming along our way and I would need to spend extra hours investigating on the background, objective, strategy, statistics etc...staring on the computer for hours and hours, and this is amazing career wise, but when I look into my needs to spend my friends, I become......sad..
My friends are my family.
I need to see them.
I need to spend time with them.
I need to share some smiles/laughters/bright ideas/insightful perspectives/positive energy with them.
Sigh. you know, and yes, I know I am going into the circle here, but I think I need to spend time with my friends.
Ange- I miss you girl. Where the hell are you when I need to go dancing or urban outfitters to try on some skirts in the change rooms together????? :(
****cool female friends into GOOD deephouse music in demand....I need to have some girly time right now!!!!!******
DAWN-I so wisheddd you were in T-dot! (or myself in Vancouver).
I miss my sisters--------it would be kinda dope if I could see them even they may tease me sometime for my geekyness.. LOL
TOMO- I wish to see you freaking SOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
Tonite, I was supposed to go out, but I came home disappointed as I was stuck at work until midnite and knowing that I would not be able to wake up early enough if I did make the decision to still go out and do *my thing* tonite....
Looking at my work schedule, I do not know when I would get to go and check out some sweet deephouse music next (or yet alone the opportunity to take a complete off for a day or two).
Although I love what I do for my work and I am blessed with the people that I work with, when I start looking into other needs that I have in my life, I find myself questioning: "what is it that I need in my life? What do I need to fulfill myself as a person????"
You know, my daily work out doing my cardio absolutely brings me a clear realization that I am given this life again. I often gain feelings such as "I am given another chance (a day) to live. How would I want live my day to fullfill it so that I will be happy eternally to go into the next world when my time comes??"
And usually, I have a wonderful day throughout the day and I forget how physically tired I maybe after having a long hour work, because everything that is given to me is ultimately a gift, and I must appreciate it fully (opportunity to work, opportunity to share my skills, ideas, creativities, initiatives etc).
But when I become alone, elements that are not fulfilled come into my mind wondering and questioning me when I will spend the energy to fulfill their needs. Maybe because I have covered such long hour work since I had my day off last time...
I miss spending time with my friends.
I miss having the time to go to kensington market and china town for my cooking.
I miss having hearty meal from in the morning.
I miss eating nice brunch with my roommate on the weekend.
I miss meeting up with my friends to chat and share whatever goes around in our minds and endlessly talk about some theories on energy/spirituality etc.
I miss.....feeling that I belong to the nature around me.
I think that I need to learn how to appreciate the given moment of time in each different picture slide that I live in. I could still appreciate my time riding on my bike from and to the gym as I pass through a road where you have humoungus trees on each side of the road, even it is for a short period of time.
I wished that I could make some arrangements with friends early in advance, so that I could manage to see them more frequently than letting a week go by without seeing any of them :(
But due to the nature of my work (a role in the management group), I must prioritize the emergent needs there, and it seems as though there is always a new business coming along our way and I would need to spend extra hours investigating on the background, objective, strategy, statistics etc...staring on the computer for hours and hours, and this is amazing career wise, but when I look into my needs to spend my friends, I become......sad..
My friends are my family.
I need to see them.
I need to spend time with them.
I need to share some smiles/laughters/bright ideas/insightful perspectives/positive energy with them.
Sigh. you know, and yes, I know I am going into the circle here, but I think I need to spend time with my friends.
Ange- I miss you girl. Where the hell are you when I need to go dancing or urban outfitters to try on some skirts in the change rooms together????? :(
****cool female friends into GOOD deephouse music in demand....I need to have some girly time right now!!!!!******
DAWN-I so wisheddd you were in T-dot! (or myself in Vancouver).
I miss my sisters--------it would be kinda dope if I could see them even they may tease me sometime for my geekyness.. LOL
TOMO- I wish to see you freaking SOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
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