reflecting

The past few weeks were spent mostly taking care of my new career responsibility as an event/catering manager for a company that owns two separate Japanese restaurants.

Tonite, I was supposed to go out, but I came home disappointed as I was stuck at work until midnite and knowing that I would not be able to wake up early enough if I did make the decision to still go out and do *my thing* tonite....

Looking at my work schedule, I do not know when I would get to go and check out some sweet deephouse music next (or yet alone the opportunity to take a complete off for a day or two).

Although I love what I do for my work and I am blessed with the people that I work with, when I start looking into other needs that I have in my life, I find myself questioning: "what is it that I need in my life? What do I need to fulfill myself as a person????"

You know, my daily work out doing my cardio absolutely brings me a clear realization that I am given this life again. I often gain feelings such as "I am given another chance (a day) to live. How would I want live my day to fullfill it so that I will be happy eternally to go into the next world when my time comes??"

And usually, I have a wonderful day throughout the day and I forget how physically tired I maybe after having a long hour work, because everything that is given to me is ultimately a gift, and I must appreciate it fully (opportunity to work, opportunity to share my skills, ideas, creativities, initiatives etc).

But when I become alone, elements that are not fulfilled come into my mind wondering and questioning me when I will spend the energy to fulfill their needs. Maybe because I have covered such long hour work since I had my day off last time...

I miss spending time with my friends.
I miss having the time to go to kensington market and china town for my cooking.
I miss having hearty meal from in the morning.
I miss eating nice brunch with my roommate on the weekend.
I miss meeting up with my friends to chat and share whatever goes around in our minds and endlessly talk about some theories on energy/spirituality etc.
I miss.....feeling that I belong to the nature around me.

I think that I need to learn how to appreciate the given moment of time in each different picture slide that I live in. I could still appreciate my time riding on my bike from and to the gym as I pass through a road where you have humoungus trees on each side of the road, even it is for a short period of time.

I wished that I could make some arrangements with friends early in advance, so that I could manage to see them more frequently than letting a week go by without seeing any of them :(
But due to the nature of my work (a role in the management group), I must prioritize the emergent needs there, and it seems as though there is always a new business coming along our way and I would need to spend extra hours investigating on the background, objective, strategy, statistics etc...staring on the computer for hours and hours, and this is amazing career wise, but when I look into my needs to spend my friends, I become......sad..

My friends are my family.
I need to see them.
I need to spend time with them.
I need to share some smiles/laughters/bright ideas/insightful perspectives/positive energy with them.

Sigh. you know, and yes, I know I am going into the circle here, but I think I need to spend time with my friends.

Ange- I miss you girl. Where the hell are you when I need to go dancing or urban outfitters to try on some skirts in the change rooms together????? :(

****cool female friends into GOOD deephouse music in demand....I need to have some girly time right now!!!!!******

DAWN-I so wisheddd you were in T-dot! (or myself in Vancouver).
I miss my sisters--------it would be kinda dope if I could see them even they may tease me sometime for my geekyness.. LOL

TOMO- I wish to see you freaking SOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!