On the day of my departure to Toronto, I woke up around 8am after 4 hrs of sleep, and tidied up my room before bringing my 2 heavy 64 kilo suitcases, "isn't it too heavy for a carry-on?" suitcase and my lap top bag to the entrance of my house.
Then I played a little with our crow pet, Ka-ko chan and Brian, the silly smiley dog for the last time before eating breakfast with my family. My parents must have read the letter from me by the time I got to the living room for breakfast, because I could tell how they were trying to hide their true emotions.
My dad was trying to minimize an amount of conversations with me. I guess he did not want to show his sad feelings when I was trying to leave the house positively with a bright outlook on my next chapter of life awaiting in Toronto.
Everyone in the house were emotional. My mom would talk to me, and all of a sudden bite her lower lip and look up so that tears would not fall. My grandma would offer me some fresh fruits pealing the skin of pink grape fruits with her tears floating in her eyes. I felt very emotional and could cry at any moment, but I tried not to do so, because it was my decision to return afterall, and I wanted it make this return a positive come-back for myself. My dad came to my room handing me some money telling me to use it for my transportation to the airport. I thanked him for his great support and cooperation during my stay in Japan, and made my commitment with him that I will do my best to fulfill my living in Canada. He told me Ganbareyo (do your best, always) as he walked away from my room. I had to let some tears fall off my cheeks.
I then drove my mom's car for the last time driving to a local drug store to buy a couple things, and came home. I wrote a letter to my grandma in my room, and then relaxed a little in the living room with my mom and my grandma. My mom made me a last cup of tea wishing me a positive journey in Toronto. I then gave my grandma a big hug and gave her the letter. As I walked out from the house, the crow pet, Ka-ko chan followed me andBrian came out from his house to watch me go. I felt so sad leaving everyone there, but I told myself that this was a beginning of my journey to fully re-gain a whole control over my life and fulfill my soul to actively cerebrate my own life that is given to me.
My mom drove me to the highway bus stop, and waited for the bus to arrive for about 20 minutes. I could tell that she was trying to hold her tears, so I kept showing my optimistic self trying to tell her that I will be okay.
The bus arrived, so we hugged for the last time, and I got on the bus thanking her and asking her to take care of my grandma and pets for me while I will be away from home.
My mom kept biting her lower lip looking a little worried about me, but we exchanged our last momet with a smile.
On the way to Tokyo, I watched the greens over the mountains, the place I grew up from the window of the bus, and could not help but to thank the land and clear air in the sky that helped me be who I am. I for the first time was able to gain such appreciation towards my home-land from the bottom of my heart, and felt strong, because I felt that my home will always be this place, where I spent my childhood watching the face of Mt. Fuji everyday, no matter how many cities I may reside before coming back to place in future.
Reflecting back all these changes that I made for my life in the past, I feel as though I was always on this search for my home, and always feeling somewhat sad like an orphant with no true home. But now that I know where my home is, I feel strong about enjoying my journey seeing different parts of the world and engaging in new activities to fullfill much of my personal interests and ultimately to manifest the person I feel most comfortable with. I hope to keep my positive attitude and brave self with me during the course of my new journey here in Canada.
Peace
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