Larry Heard

I wonder: if I did not have music by larry heard that allows me to connects with my inner self and restore positive energy during my work out, how would I keep my positive attitude at all times??

I am always energized by his music, because I feel that his music brings such comfort in me and allows me to feel that I can continue being who I am, feeling, experiencing and appreciating those beauties and qualities of life that I value in my life.

Anyway, I thought that my appreciation for his music and how much I value it needed to be expressed from my lungs before I head out for today's work out today.

I am soo lucky that I have come to learn of his music. Thanks very much, mu for introducing me to his soulful and deep music :)

peace and love,

today's realization

i need to have a strong and patient mind that will not be disturbed to unexpected incidences and unwelcome energy. One day, I hope that I will be able to perceive every single challenge that comes into my life as a gift even from the moment of its occurence. Right now, I feel that I am too naive and fragile that although I can keep my positive perspectives while dealing with a challenge, its physical damage/draining of my energy are too big to the degree that I am really surprised to know I still feel very tired after my recent stressful situations.
I have spent my morning engaging in a few meditation, but longer I try to meditate, more weakness exposes on its own. I realized how much of a long way I have to go to become truly a strong minded and patient individual....

I know I can get there though :)

Chakras and DeJa Vu

Until I talked to Tomo, I did not have a concept that supports my own belief re: core of my self.

Over a dinner (I baked a meat loaf and cooked chinese vege stir-fry, steamed brown rice and miso soup) and desert (I baked a banana cake..hehe) at my place last nite, Tomo and I engaged in such a great conversation re: our beliefs on energy, from spiritual healing to chakras. We freely exchanged our ideas on many things, and it indeed was such a great experience: something that I truly was hungry for!!! (I love it whenever my friend is able to freely express their ideas and thoughts on spirituality, and it has been a long time since a friend was able to willingly share her/his thoughts on this level...thanks very much, TOMO!!!).

During our conversation, she mentioned re: Chakras.

According to this website, Chakras are centers of energy, located on the midline of the body. There are seven of them, and they govern our psychological properties. The chakras located on the lower part of our body are our instinctual side, the highest ones our mental side.

The chakras can have various levels of activity. When they're "open," they're considered operative in a normal fashion.

Ideally, all chakras would contribute to our being. Our instincts would work together with our feelings and thinking. However, this is usually not the case. Some chakras are not open enough (being under-active), and to compensate, other chakras are over-active. The ideal state is where the chakras are balanced. To find out what the state of your chakras is, do the chakra test (I will tell you my result at the bottom of today's entry).

Anyway, back to what I was trying to say in today's entry. I have been freely able to connect with that self thru running and meditation since I gained my awareness towards spirituality over 5 years ago, thanks to a guidance from my best friend, Scott.

Around that time, I experienced a lot of spiritual experiences such as de ja vus. At one occassion, I was even able to rely on my own de ja vu to guide where I needed/wanted to go with my own will by breaking what it was going to happen (according to my de ja vu-a memory from the future).

And recently, I have been experiencing a lot of deja vus.

My deja vus happens whenever my mind recalls a flashback of few photographic images in my mind. Sometime, only a single image but very very remarkable to the degree that I can even draw a picture of it and the same image comes into my own reality later on (allowing me to know that it was a deja vu). And sometime a series of few images that allow me to know what would happen if I let the faith take where I need to be.

In a way, I personally believe this experience what I refer as deja bu is something that allows me to know my own destiny. So I feel that more I stay closed to my own core of self (soul) and maintaining good balance of my own chakras and being able to listen to my intuitive messages clearly and making daily decisions, more I MAY experince deja vus that allow me to know deep inside that the path that I am walking on is the right path/given path in my desitiny.

Anyway, after a few stressful incidences the past week, I questioned: "is this really the path that I was meant to go thru?? because I even rejected that good pay job offer in Barrie now and I need to start my job search again (my greedy self confusing my own past judgment and decision)".

But once again I experienced a deja vu of myself reading this article (I recalled the exact article detail and its picture in the magazine and my own surrounding) while exercising at the gym, trying to let go of my own accumulated negative energy and re-store my own good energy from my passion for my life.

So in that moment, I felt very assured that everything will be just fine! fine! fine!
and this message, "do not underestimate your passion for things that you are interested and love. stay who you are and take actions to better manifest your own identity!" came into my mind, as if its energy was trying to encourage/cheer me up and keep me moving without a fear.

I do not know if any of you do believe in spiritual experiences like this (that I sometime experience), but I love it whenever I am able to collect spiritual messages whenever I am exercising (feeling running high). I think we all are able to welcome such messages from the core of self (a message from our future?!) or from another world, only if we engage in activities to actively detach ourselves from heavy/draining thoughts and energy.

According to the chakra test, it says that I need to let go of my fear. It is sooo very true. I need to actively work on this by meditating and being closed to the nature more though :)
Or do you think I am being nuts by thinking and analyzing way too much??!! hahaha

Any thoughts? Please share your wisdom. Peace and love.

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Results from Chakra test

Root: under-active (18%) Sacral: open (56%) Navel: open (25%) Heart: open (68%) Throat: open (68%) Third Eye: open (56%) Crown: over-active (75%)

Percentages go from -100% to +100% Further information What this means Open your under-active chakras

Comment:

1 - Root chakra

The Root chakra is about being physically there and feeling at home in situations. If it is open, you feel grounded, stable and secure. You don't unnecessarily distrust people. You feel present in the here and now and connected to your physical body. You feel you have sufficient territory.

If you tend to be fearful or nervous, your Root chakra is probably under-active. You'd easily feel unwelcome.'

7 - Crown chakra

The Crown chakra is about wisdom and being one with the world. When this chakra is open, you are unprejudiced and quite aware of the world and yourself.

If it is under-active, you're not very aware of spirituality. You're probably quite rigid in your thinking.

If this chakra is over-active, you are probably intellectualizing things too much. You may be addicted to spirituality and are probably ignoring your bodily needs. LOL

I do not need

I do not need:

• negative energy affected by others who are selfish, arrogant and controlling.

I do not need:

• to let such energy haunt my mind to the degree that I am unable to open the door to welcome good energy into my soul and being able to appreciate my life to fullest at all time.

I do not need:

• to put up with other people's insecurity and their problems and put me down, just because they need to feel that they are better than who I am,

I do not need:

• to surround myself who take advantage of the weak ones and create such unfair hierarchical system.

After having had two stressful incidences past week, I found myself physically, mentally and spiritually drained. After I quit my job and doing absolutely nothing on Thursday,,,and while riding my bike and this lady who was stopping at the cross walk shared such a wonderful and contageous smile with me, I found myself naturally returning her mine and in that moment, a realization that I am still a free-bird, no matter how other may try to take advantage of me and bring difficult circumstances in my life.

I want to thank that lady for bringing me that realization that I can still be who I am, appreciate my own good nature and live freely true to myself :) Life is wonderful, especially when you experience an instant spiritual communication with people you do not know, but their souls you know :)

Peace and love,

Mentally and Physically Exhausting Week

Not so long ago, I rejected a job offer to work as a Japanese Translator for an automotive company in Barrie, which is about 2 hrs north of Toronto, simply because I was not so sure about moving there and live a lonely life without friends in the city (again).

Then I was given this opportunity to work as a manager for a health institution in Toronto, and since I was always interested in having my own business in future, this one appeared and sounded excellent to me.

As each day passed by, I learned more about the company, and more I became suspicious re: how the company ran the business. The fact how they refused to issue a contract agreement when I requested for one was a first sign to begin with. They did also refuse to pay 1.5 times my hourly rate, when they asked me to work approx. 50 hrs/week. I basically learned so many shady/unrespected ways of their operation (that I do not want to even bother write here) that I made a decision to just get out from this company before I get into a huge trouble.

Informing my boss of my wish to leave was stressful.
He asked me why. I basically told him my honest opinion and reasons.

On the next day, he called and asked me to work until the end of the month.
I said: "how would you assure me that you are going to pay me properly?"
He: silence.
He: "Well, I guess I have to respect your decision then". and he was going to hang up on me.
So I said: "How can you pay for the days that I worked for you?"
He: "Oh, I thought you made you decision being prepared in case you would not get paid".
I: "I think you know that I have worked very hard and more than you demanded me. And therefore, I believe I deserve to get paid".
He: "I will tell my wife to write you a cheque then".

There is no need for me to express how I felt.
I just want to cut off this negative energy that affected me physically, mentally and emotionally already.

Please wish me good luck so that the cheque that I plan on getting this weekend covers all the hours that I worked for.

Fucking basterds who take advantage of others. I have no respect for such people in this universe.

Another stressful incidence

Well, I was woken up by a scream thru my mobile last nite. It was my youngest sister freaking out and very upset with what I have done re: kids cheating in tests/exams in her summer course that she is enrolled in. In that instant, it triggered me to have a flashback (since I was asleep and have not gained consciousness) was another story, but yes, let's just go on with her story first.

My sister has been studying really hard for this course with her tutor for the past month and told me that it was not fair how more than half of the students have been cheating with our techy devices that are available (mobile/digi cam/calculator).

So I wrote an email addressed to those in authority asking for a confidential investigation and proper punishment on those kids-noting that this needs to be handled very carefully and in confidence because of my sister's privacy. I also wrote in the mail to contact me if he/she has any questions and not my sister.

Guess what?!!

Apparently, the principal came into her class, asked her to come into his room DURING the class, and then on the same day coming into the class for an emergent meeting with all the students and teacher re: cheating.

Who is stupid enough to not know it was my sister who exposed the truth?!!!!

My sister now is so very upset that she has turned the rest of students as her enermy, and feels emotionally, mentally and physically threatened by the anger by those kids who cheated.

I called the principal today asking him what he has done, and telling him that there has been many other ways he could have done differenly (instead of coming to the class immediately like an emotionally retarted child, he could have simply asked the teacher to give her a note asking her to come to his room while no one is watching).

Because of the way how the principal failed to investigate the matter in a discreet manner, it made it obvious that it was my sister who spilled the truth.

Anyway, my sister is really upset now.
I feel like an ass now causing this drama now.
But I did not want her to get bad grade while knowing she has been studying really hard, you know? Basically I had two options. Either I do not do anything about it or fight for my sister's rights.

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The principal promised me that he would talk to my sister after her last class and give me a call, but he did not. So I called him. He sounded like a useless and irresponsible ass hole.
I talked to my sister how he communicated with her when she told him how hurt she felt.
He basically told her that there was nothing he could do since the course was over.
He simply suggested her to go and talk to a counselor if any problem rises in September (physical threats and emotional abuse by the cheaters).

But what about all the emotional and verbal abuse that she already received from the cheaters in the class??

I am furious, and I want to fight for my sister and my rights and will report this case to the school disctrict hoping that some proper discipline on this ass hole will be made. It will make my day if he will get fired, but I doubt it. Sometime, I wonder how unfairly people climbed to the level of authority in any insitution/organization. I guess those who are very passionate about teaching and dealing with kids will stay forever as teachers.... Hey Tatsu, if you were reading this, please share your input on this matter. Thanks :)

THE BEST DELI PERSON EVARRRR

So after work, I stopped by at Dominion to buy some meat and fish products...lately, I have been super busy that I do not get to sit and enjoy my breakfast as I used to...no time for an omelette or crepes from in the morning, but it is important to have a good balanced breakfast to start off my day, so the sandwich meat has been quite handy (making sandwiches or place ham and cheese on crackers for snack).

The deli section of the grocery store was super busy, so I must have waited like 10 minutes before the deli person, a mid 50s old gentleman who looked like a type that would be seen in Harry Potter stories, was able to assist me.

He finally came at front of me and goes: "thank you for your patience and how may I assist with you today?"

I: "Can I get 100 gram of Havarti cheese sliced?"
He sliced the cheese and weighed it in the scale, and the scaled showing "154 gram".
He took the cheese off the scale, and punched *-54* and then placed the cheese back on the scale. Bingo! now that the scale was showing "100 gram", exactly what I asked for.
He put the sticker on the envelop containing 154 gram of Havarti cheese and said: "Thank you for stopping over at the deli section of Dominion. You have a great evening, madam".

He actually helped me with my cooked smoked chicken as well (putting a sticker saying 150 gram on my 180 gram of chicken").. I thought this was very amusing as hell. Did not know what to think of it. He probably did not want to put the sliced meat or cheese back in the fridge cause it goes into the garbage or get rotten having nobody want to buy such slice after someone else anyway, you know? So yeah, it indeed was very smart and generous of him to scam the system and provide me what I exactly ask for. LOL

I tell my dad the same thing when prepring dishes at his restaurant. Since the appearance of each dish is important, we can not overdo things. But if it does not go over the boundary, I (and my grandma) encourage my dad to put more carp sashimi fish on a dish, if we know that it will go into his stomach or someone else's (imagine or not, sometime, our crow pet even gets to eat left over carp fish. LOL).

Anyway, he made my dad :D